Directed by @DrWooArt
produced by Andreea Pavel & Jesse Boykins III
Actors: Alani C. Oceania, Dinah D Kouyaté-Diallo, Jesse Boykins III

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swallow this bitches

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… our generation.

I am interviewing my generation as to how they feel about being part of our generation. This dude is from New Jersey and he is 18.

“I feel as if I’m the shit & just shit, beautiful & ugly, friend & foe, vibrant & bland. I have moments of reckoning when I feel like I know I can be great if I just tried, but then I have to come back to the bullshit we (excluding me) call life & I just try to escape that. I think profoundly on trivial bullshit like what ifs or how comes instead of actually changing my reality. Peers always tell me I’m so awesome yada yada or give me praise but they don’t live my life nor do they see what I see. Only what I allow them to & because of that, I feel as if they’re opinions are miscontrued. I feel like no one really knows me & no one ever really will because to know me means someone would actually have a piece of me or be a part of me & that’s way too much power than what I’m willing to give. I feel like a King living a slaves life. Like Jesus maybe. I feel like I never really had my own life. It was always my dads, if that makes any sense. My life was his & he thought it was his to control. I think different but fuck it.

As a part of our generation, I feel isolated & not because I’m a loser or I don’t have friends or girls don’t like me, but because I dont belong. People are so transparent & fake & whack. Doing extra shit for nothing. Hardly anyone is who they want to be truthfully. People forever worry about what other people think of them & I do admit, every once in a while I do the same, but only if it’s from a woman I look up to. I’m tired of writing about how I feel so yea.”

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It didn’t take me many years of psychoanalysis, never needed to teach psychology, yeah okay I occassionally worked as a therapist, but after taking drugs for many years, mind-travelled to India, being a yogi, having a guru, meditating for x years now – as far as I can see I haven’t gotten rid of one neurosis. Not one. The only thing that has changed is that while before these neuroses were huge monsters that possessed me, now they’re like little shmoos that I invite over for tea. I say, “Oh, sexual perversity! Haven’t seen you in weeks!” They’re sort of my style now.
When your neuroses become your style, you’ve got it made. Everybody has a personality composed of neurotic patterns. I’ve given up thinking I’ve got to go through the eye of the needle and become psychologically sound. I’m always going to be a mess! At bottom, it’s uninteresting and unimportant. That’s part of the shift that occurs with spiritual practice. As things become less important, they become more available to change.”

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I remember getting an email in early February 2010 from a dear friend stating: download this before she puts it back down again.. No clue what it was but since it came from a man I trust when it comes to whatever, I clicked on the link. Once I had it saved, I pressed play. Weird galactic sounds resonate and a familiar voice sings: „My love what did I do to make you fall so far from me?“ – my sister comes jumping out her room yelling: You got the new Erykah? For the rest of the year, NEW AMERYKAH Pt. 2 was all we played at the house.

Those were my thoughts last night at the Tempodrom in Berlin, while I was in the press section with my photographer waiting for Ms. Badu to come on stage and when I heard the amazing voices of her six background singers (including Millie Jackson’s babygirl and Erykah’s god daughter) going: Badu.. Badu.. Badu.. – I felt the same excitement. Out of the darkness the called for will not let the audience wait any longer and the Goddess appears on stage with a powerful outfit that had reminded me of an indigenous Peruvian with the funky energy of James Brown. She introduces herself as Erykah Badu aka Sara Bellum aka @FatBellyBella aka Medulla Oblongata aka Low Down Loretta Brown aka Analogue girl in a digital world and better known as (and the band begins to play “The Healer”) Humdi, Lila, Allah, Jehovah, Yahweh, Dios, Ma’at Jah, Rastafari, fire, sex, music, hip hop. At this moment I am already shaking my head in amazement doing the stanky face. The energy in the room is CRAZY.

Last time I saw Erykah was in 2000. Mama’s Gun had just been released and she looked like some pharao’s daughter but she was greatness and bless but now this woman is simply mindblowing. I guess it is partly because she is more natural in a way. She joked on stage, she did a little crowd surfing, she danced – things she used to not do at her older shows.

Erykah and her band killed it! They easily make a crowd of thousands jump and wild out to verses like „ Annie dont wear no panties“ or „she aint wear no drawers but that bitch never forget the hot sauce“ , enchants with the melodic bag lady, will make you feel like attending an Afrika Bambaata show with the beats she drops from her MPC and sprinkle you with magic for your way home within a two-hour-show. It’s the power of music and the strength to stay true to yourself.

This woman will make you wanna live your life right.. She made me individualize and filled me with love for a whole life time. Her show was simply amazing and I am glad I got see her again.

photos by: Thomas Peiser

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