This life is screaming now or never and freedom and experience,*la vie rapide, while the soul is crying for that depth that the heart are trying to escape from. We are looking for ourselves, finding, trying, keep searching. Afraid to commit to anything or anyone, afraid of giving something up. It’s so ironic, that we are still looking for the same thing. That thing that makes it all complete, but looking for it inside of us, instead of trying to find it in another person. So where does that leave us children of the city, where the only constant is change?

To be honest, I have no idea. I am just thinking about love, as usual, you know me. Life and Love. Life or love? Love after life or life after love? How can two letters make such an incompatible difference? Living for love might be an option for some people and the rest of us…..maybe we are striving for independence in it’s purest form, or we are all just becoming pussies.

Well, at least one thing is for sure. Forever is painful. But at least it’s forever.

My new forever in the making.

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…….school, university, graduation. I loved and loved again and I love. I have friends I wouldn’t give up for anything or anyone, I am deeply connected to my family. I have a passion, a desire a dream and am interested in several things that keep inspiring me. I know what I like and what I don’t and I am not sure if I know who exactly I am but I sure as hell know who and what I am not. I know my weaknesses and my strengths. I be who I be and say what I feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. And I like my hair (which is kind of a big deal for me). I feel free….free to move in whatever direction I want to, to explore whatever excites me, to follow my inspirations. Ready for whatever.
I want to continue learning , I wanna grow and I want to  make mistakes. Lot’s of mistakes. Stupid fuckin mistakes. I want to laugh about myself, I want to be in a situation that I can’t handle, I want to have a conversation that doesn’t sound like one I’ve already had, I want to surround myself with people that inspire me and who I can learn from, even if that might sound selfish. I am so damn hungry for my life.

So here’s my heart and soul’s stat quo:

I am young and the world is mine. You can join me, you can come along for a while, you can love me, hate me or hurt me , but you can’t tell me nothing. This is my NOW and I know it’s gonna be over in one breath…so I allow myself to be  foolish and at times stupid and I don’t give a shit about being responsible, reasonable or realistic. I trust my heart to know the way. There is no 10 step masterplan for your future, even if you Tony Robbins the shit outta your life. So I will fall in love or fall in hate, get inspired or depressed, make babies or make art, speak the truth or lie and cheat, get naked and dance on tables or sit in the corner and think. I will drink, don’t drink, be good or be bad. Life is sweet chaos. And I embrace it right now. Forgive myself. Breathe…..and enjoy the ride.

And if you don’t know, now you know.

X
Captain Kiddo

“EVERYTHING PASSES, EVERYTHING CHANGES. JUST DO WHAT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD DO.” Bob Dylan

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One…..
Happy ever after… I guess at the end of the day, thats what we’re all searching for in a relationship. But considering the world and mindstate we live in, is that what we are instinctly searching for even realistic ?

Let’s sum some things up a little. On the one hand a big part of our whole being is about consuming, so is the world around us. Consuming is part of our lifestyle, part of us. I don’t wanna go to far on this cause it is not what this is about, but I think we can agree on that our lifes have become very consume orientated in many ways. We don’t buy new things because we can’t use the old ones anymore for some reason, or because they are worn out or because the new I Pad is what we always needed. We buy them because we want to have them, always looking for an upgrade, always on to the next one. I think this can be generalized starting from looking at simple things like body lotion to things like shoes, clothes,cars….

Then on the other hand we hold on to an idea of love that represents spending a whole life with the same person. A concept of love that is totally opposed to our way of living. It’s like telling someone  that wearing the same, not the same lookin, but the exact same shirt for like 30 years is THE THING . This is a paradoxal kind of fucked up situation. Is our generation stucked in some deep 21th century mind/heart confusion? Heart striving to find the one, mind always on to the next one. Is this our great depression ? Our great war? A war that takes place inside of us?

Two…..
Let’s switch to a bigger perspective than just romantic love. Maybe that’s just me, but..

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